bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize