Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
