I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize