babies were throwing up all over the place
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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