i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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