The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
