Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
