I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
