Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
