some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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