i just google imaged poop.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
