she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
