Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
