u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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