Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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