you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want to be your penis for a week.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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