I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
