If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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