Non-Jews are for practice
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
