i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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