I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
