She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
