Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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