So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Less talking, more tequila
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
