So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
