We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
