ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
