i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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