his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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