what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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