but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
