it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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