I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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