Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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