Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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