I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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