All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
