Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
