Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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