jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
