I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
