Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
