its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
