GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
