I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
