I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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