I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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