I'm lost and stupid without you.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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