was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
