You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
