Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
