Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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