After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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