Whod you bang
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
