i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
