is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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