okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
