We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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