So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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