More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
